i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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