He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
