Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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