I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
