Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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