so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
