Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
