It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
