He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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