I got chris browned last night
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
