you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
