Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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