Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
