She is in my trunk
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Your cock deserves a montage
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
