I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
