I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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