I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
