she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
