either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
