u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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