I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
