He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
