she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
