I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i believe in u and ur pee
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