is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
