Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
