I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
