I think my fart just growled at me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
