every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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