I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
