You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
