the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
