Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
