Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
