Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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