69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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