the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize