I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
