The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
