Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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