Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
