You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
