last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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