once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
