Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
