The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
