Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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