Can Purell be used as lube?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
