I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
