I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
