So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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