Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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